Prior to NVC (which was nearly 60 years of my life!), I had experienced much free-form, empathic sharing with women friends, but practically none with men.
How did an empathy circle lead to a first date?
A few months prior to my 60th birthday, I attended an empathy circle (which turned out to be a triangle), and was completely astounded by experiencing empathy from two men. So impressed was I that when one of them invited me to a Marlon Williams concert a few weeks later, I said an unhesitating…
Yes!
Then I wondered, between the invitation and the event, if I was going on a “date”. It turned out the inviter was having the same wondering. And by the end of the night, we discovered that, yes, it seemed to be a date!
What is our relationship like nine years later?
Nine years later, we are still together, though often physically apart due to various family circumstances. And empathy is still the binding force in the most genuinely intimate partnership that I have ever experienced, by many degrees of magnitude.
How has NVC deepened my friendships with women?
These days, my empathic friendships with my women friends are deeply enriched by introducing more formally “contained” empathic sharing, alongside the free-form ways we have always naturally had.
How does NVC transform the human experience?
Over these years, attending various NVC trainings and gatherings, I continue to be regularly astounded by the power of NVC to transform the human experience (my own, and what I observe in others) from self-judgement to self-compassion, alienation to safety, overwhelm to integration, resistance to acceptance.
What does it feel like to be deeply seen and heard?
Whenever I experience feeling safe to be deeply seen and heard by another (and therefore feel safe to explore my imperfect humanity with vulnerability) – the relief is like a sweet nectar that pours through my veins and cleanses away all the fear and confusion that I have been unknowingly clenching around.
Empathy so effortlessly dismantles the lifelong default belief that difficult feelings are dangerous and to be avoided at all costs.
And when my feelings come out of hiding, my body and heart’s wisdom is free to integrate this messy and beautiful and precious reality of being human in an uncontrollable world.
Why offer this space to others?
And so, naturally, it feels an honour to offer this same space for others. Not only is it an honour, but there is a healing that flows in empathic presence for both the giver and the receiver.
Book a session with Annie here
Annie Chapman, Empathy Practitioner
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